Waiting for Godot in the Basement of Family Court

The lawyer who defends deadbeats just said he’s busy trying to get a dad out of jail and I said he probably deserves to be there. It’s March 5, 2014, and I am sitting in waiting area of Family Court for the umpteenth time in 16 years. I met with the child support office, who has advocated for me in the system more than anyone else. They said that if my daughter’s father is a no-show, a bench warrant for his arrest will be issued. He is not even close to compliant. I think he owes me around $50,000 by now, since he has never willingly paid his child support obligations. He has gone to jail before, but it hasn’t changed his attitude about his responsibility. Every time we have a hearing, he finds a new excuse or new angle to weasel his way out of what he is obligated to do. Like his high blood pressure or bad shoulder are enough to prevent him from working at all. I’m not sure how reasonable people buy what he’s selling. But it smells like three-day old fish and I don’t even work in the legal system. He isn’t even expected to do very much. If he pays a portion of the ordered amount, he is considered compliant according to purge conditions that were set when he was charged with contempt for failure to pay child support. The defenders of the deadbeats are sleazeballs. The deadbeats schmooze them and they are happy to try to help them work the system so that they don’t have to do what is right by the children. A Mother doesn’t have this option. If she doesn’t pay what’s needed for the child’s expenses, her child doesn’t eat, her child doesn’t have a place to sleep, her child is consider neglected and she would be a criminal. And what these dirtbags do is criminal. It’s just that we live in a patriarchal society where women and men are affected by different rules. And the court systems are reflection of this. So the men live free and the women are left carry the burden for both mother and father, while they fight to access resources for the children, the men resist, and the men live life to the fullest. I have yet to see conscience in this. If you want to see you disgusting examples of humanity go hang out at Family Court for a day. So far, at 9:25, no arrival. The hearing was scheduled for 9:00, but apparently it is of no consequence to someone that has no sense of duty. What about the children, how are the children? Is anybody thinking about them? I see our children being used as pawns in a giant chess game where the men are corrupt Kings, and women are forced into a game they never wanted to play when they became a mother.

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