What depression is like for me today

This is week two of being pretty depressed. And I realize that I’ve been depressed for a long time. I lose track of how long. There are phases. It’s been a lifetime. Years and years and years. It ebbs and flows and sometimes I’m not even that self-aware of it because it’s so normal. And then there are times when I feel happy and realize how depressed I’ve been. I will have a moment of inspiration and feel alive. And depression is not just about being sad, a lot of times it’s melancholy, hopelessness, and lack of energy. It’s a very weird thing to live with. It can be dark, beautiful, and not always painful. Sometimes it’s like being under water and everything looks like that. And it can be many shades, not always gray. And I realize that this is part of my existence. I don’t think it will ever be cured and I’m not sure that’s the point. Understanding would be nice because pressure and judgment don’t help at all. Love and empathy are everything. It’s not because you need attention, it really is life blood when you are sinking like a rock. And with all I’ve learned, I will never tell anybody that happiness is a choice, they should be grateful, someone has it worse, they just need to do this or that or look on the bright side. I will just be there and be a friend and not instruct. I won’t tell them what to think or what they should do. I will just accept someone else’s feelings without having to control them. And I don’t have to understand everything to support someone. I don’t need to project my life experiences onto someone else or make it OK. Sometimes the most powerful things we can do are validation, apologies, and showing up. Telling me not to live in the past minimizes my pain. Comparing me to someone else is disrespectful. You don’t have to have the answers. Nobody really has the answers. Unconditional acceptance is wisdom. I’m glad when someone listens.

Disability Viewpoints: My Daughter is a Cohost

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Disability Viewpoints is a great platform for the disability community and last night we had an amazing show about Partnership Resources (PRI) and the ReelAbilities Disability Film Festival. I hope a lot of you can attend June 11-14. It’s a celebration of disability and our shared human experience through film, put on with a huge collaborative effort involving many groups and advocates. Art can change the world and touch our hearts in a powerful way like nothing else can. It’s going to be magnificent!

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Imani’s guests said she made them feel comfortable and she was a good listener, so it helped to ad lib in spots to make it more natural. The show’s director, Jo, said that was one of her best episodes. She has been participating for several years now, and like all things, you get a little better every time you try. Everyone seemed to have a great time!

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